Love is difficult for you to explain. And because you have been through the form of abusive love, you have to be careful how you give your heart and love to people.
You pray you will meet someone nice - someone who respects you at all times, and not use you as a sex object like the other guys you met. You are a lovely girl with passion, and you would easily sacrifice yourself to make it work.
You haven't made the best choices in love over these years, they have been abusive to you, not just sexually, but emotionally and mentally too. You want someone who not just respects you at all times, but will take care of you when you're not in your best self.
You have made rushed decisions in finding love, and you learnt you need to be more patient, and leave it to God too. He will open and close the right doors for you.
Just be patient, please.
True love doesn't come easily.
So be patient.