In reality, I could never be fully happy and satisfied with my body shape and size. When I was "skinny", I would want to eat more and so I can gain weight. This was before I started on antidepressants - I had a really thin physique before I hit 19 - one of the time I had my first bunch of mental health breakdowns and learnt about Depression and all these mental health illnesses.
And when I was considered "big" I wanted to be the opposite. It was a neverending battle with myself for the "perfect" body - when really, there is no such thing as the perfect body - only more like perfectly imperfect, right?
Each day I try to tell myself I am worthy, I am beautiful, I am gorgeous just the way I am (I even wrote and painted these positive affirmations!) - it's not healthy to self-sabotage myself with negative self-talk. Self-talk is just as important as anything but. No matter how much curves I gain or lose, the most important part is to love myself and body as who I am. Love myself for my flaws, and accept the changes as it comes.
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